It’s Been a Year
On 6/1/21 episode 1 of Alice and the Pale Horse, “Awake, Awake” was published.
A year later, we’re still here.
We’ve touched on this a few times, but as the true one year anniversary of this site approaches, it bears acknowledgement once more-
Alice and the Pale Horse has been releasing weekly, with precious few exceptions, for an entire year. And I’m getting ready to celebrate- with new site updates, character art and perhaps even a short voice recording where I talk about Alice and the future direction. That’s right- we’re doin’ an Anniversary Party!!!
When you’re just getting started, it’s important to take time to celebrate yourself. You can’t rely on others to do it for you.
A year really shows you WHY you’re writing. At some point, you either stop looking at the traffic numbers or you let it crush you. You stop waiting for friends to tell you their thoughts after every episode, or you develop resentment. You stop treating your weekly entries like a chore, or you just have a second job.
You find a reason for why you’re writing, or you stop.
I started writing Alice because of one no good, really awful day at work. I still remember the exact time, place and feeling I had as I started drafting the initial beats of episode 1 in an Outlook e-mail. In the moment, my purpose was to find a place to put the pain, grief and dissatisfaction I was feeling onto the page. It was a purge. Now, I write because I can’t help myself. I don’t write to purge myself- I write because I would feel lesser if I did not.
Years later, I can’t believe how far Alice has come. Even after a full year, we’re barely a third of the way through my drafted pages. We’ve completed what I call “The Awakening Arc” and are moving on to “The Queen of Blades Arc”. I have a few faithful readers for whom I’m eternally grateful for. I have a website I’m proud of and work I can point back at. And most importantly, even if it all comes to nothing, I can say I tried my best- and the evidence is here in these blogs.
I’ve had friends suggest this becomes a podcast. Others have suggested a stageplay or webcomic. There’s no shortage of ideas of what Alice should be. But ultimately, this is where my passion for Alice lies- in these weekly chats I hold with you, the readers. Sometimes I speak as a storyteller. Other times, a confidante. Sometimes I don’t speak at all- as has been the case in the past couple weeks, where my excitement to get on with the damn story overrides any need I have to insert myself into this space.
But today, I speak to you as a writer. It’s not a role I take often in real life. Most people in my real life don’t think of me as a writer, or even know that I write. It’s not something I highlight. I do many other things in my freetime and when I introduce myself to others, I often start by mentioning those, or the work I actually get paid for. I like to think most folks who don’t know me well would consider me to be a bit unremarkable, which suits me well. I have never been interested in being well known- just heard. I’m the guy who was far more satisfied standing behind the stage than standing on it.
The truth is I’ve never thought we would be big. I gave up on that idea mere weeks into the project when I decided to stop posting this to reddit or looking over my weekly traffic reports. I’m not writing this story for today, or even tomorrow.
I’m writing it for years from now- for the someday when I’m no longer here. I want folks to find this and know I did -something- of use. I want them to see Alice, the Pale Horse and all their friends and take some comfort from their adventures- knowing that it gave me deep satisfaction to create them. This project, like any other I’ve done, is my attempt at a message in a bottle. It’s something I hope will outlive me.
So, if by some strange chance, you’re reading this in such an applicable moment gulps (why do I feel suddenly anxious about writing that?)- allow me to say welcome, thank you, and most importantly- you are loved. Thank you for taking time to remember Alice, Pale Horse, the world of Arcana, and, perhaps less consequentially, me as well.
Please look forward to some art posts that will give some faces and color to our characters thus far. My writing partner, Miranda, and I worked hard on them and they will serve as concept art for whoever we eventually employ to draw our cast in full. If you happen to see her, make sure to tell her thank you for Alice. Miranda has been the silent partner of this blog since its start, and I would never have been able to present this without her hard work. Do yourselves a favor and find a writing partner who is just like her- it will serve you well not just in writing, but in life as well. We should all be so lucky.
With much love,
Crasherfly
